The Pains of Horse Ownership

Friday, April 17, 2009

Ok, so this post is not specifically about Takoda, but I thought it's important to share some of the downs of owning horses, since most of this blog is upbeat and all about little victories. Those are so vital to balancing out the agony that comes with owning these magnificent creatures.

On Easter Sunday, Kristin was supposed to have an exciting lesson at a nearby park where an eventing course had been set up the day before for actual competition. Cherie was going to meet us there so Kristin could see how Beauty does over the small jumps, among other horses, and out in public. In preparation, we spent a few days loading and unloading all the horses onto the trailer so they would know the trailer was nothing to be feared. Tonka loads like a dream - walks on without a fuss and just stands ready to go. Takoda, I have already posted about. Laramie was one who needed practice as she has an appointment next week with an eye specialist to see if she needs surgery. Beauty has been trailered many times as a racehorse and I expected her to do just fine. She didn't like the idea of getting into that enclosed space, so I handled it exactly like Takoda's practice session, and she eventually got it. We had to load and unload Tonka, who she follows anywhere. Once we did that, she followed him on without any fuss. We practiced over and over again, until she was loading and unloading all by her big self, looking for the peppermints which were in ready supply.

Well, now it's Sunday afternoon. I was probably more excited than Kristin! The truck was loaded up with all the tack and supplies and water, and Kristin and I were ready. Beauty was groomed and the final step was putting her on the trailer. I did not expect any issues, but a phrase Cherie loves to say jumped into my head ("It's a new day!") and I realized today was a day Beauty really didn't want to load, even for peppermints. We got Tonka, put him on, and Beauty followed right behind. We unloaded Tonka, and of course Beauty thought she was getting off, too, and turned. She accidentally pinned me against the inside of the trailer, so I was unable to move to shut the gate behind her. I have to admit I panicked a little inside, which might be what triggered the next chain of events that happened so fast I can't even believe it. I was scared she was going to crush me, so I pushed her off me, and she decided to back up, which was fine - or so I thought. The trailer can hold 2 horses lengthwise, so she had plenty of room. I let her back a few feet away from me, and called out to the others to close the gate, but they were not quick enough for what was about to happen. Beauty started to rear up inside the trailer. Knowing it's best to let them have their head when they panic, I let go of the lead rope, but the knot on the end of it got caught between my fingers, which means she shanked herself as she pulled up. We believe the chain scared her enough that she all-out panicked. She took two steps backwards and I was watching her feet precariously near the back edge of the trailer, and was not watching her head. I was terrifed she would fall out the back, having seen photos and footage of horrible accidents to horses legs when they step off a trailer. She managed to step down mid-rear, and knocked her head against the top of the trailer where the opening is. She hit her head so hard the trailer shook. As soon as she was out, she bent down to eat grass, and I was SO relieved she had not hurt her legs, and said to the others, "That horse is NEVER getting on this trailer." As soon as I had said that, Kristin walked over to her, and said, "Oh wow!" I knew that was not good, so I went to look and almost got physically ill at what I saw. Beauty's forehead was ripped open to the bone, and the skin was peeled down her face a good 2-3 inches. I called the vet immediately, and was told they would be here in about 40 minutes. I had already tried dialing MJ to see if she was home to help load Beauty and had gotten no answer, but I was frantically calling again. I still got not answer, so I decided to run over to her house. I instructed Jeff to give Beauty a 1000 lb. dose of banamine (pain killer) and ran like I have never run before. When I got to MJ's I was relieved to see her truck. I was so out of breath all I could get out to her was "Beauty's hurt!" and she ran back over with me. Beauty always loves to see MJ and this day was no different. Beauty seemed unphased by her head injury, which actually was not bleeding all that badly. She just kept grazing the green grass which all the horses are sadly deprived of. MJ managed to get the Banamine into her and we waited for the vet. While we were waiting, we thought we could see a small crack in the bone where some blood was hiding the rest of it. This sent me into another emotional tail spin. I can't even begin to describe the guilt I was feeling over all of this. It's just unreal. It's bad enough that this happened during something I was doing with her, but what's worse is she's not even my horse! This was the longest 40 minutes of my horse-owning life!!!

To make a long story short, the vet arrived, sedated her, cleaned the wound, got the blood flowing nicely again, and then showed us that Beauty did indeed have a fractured skull (but not where we thought we saw a crack - that was just a trickle of blood that she had cleaned away). you could not see the fracture, but she had us feel it. It is a perpendicular break in the nose, 4-6 inches long (insert nausea here) along the inside of her left eye. As I felt the tissues squish where they should have been quite hard, I felt a new wave of guilt, sadness and just all out pain. What had I done?

MJ and the vet both assured me that these types of trailer accidents do happen all the time, and that actually horses frequently fracture their skulls at race tracks when they slam into the starting gate. The vet said as long as there are no small bits of skull that do not reattach, she should be just fine, and could even go to the show this coming weekend (but not over the jumps). Their assurances were not enough to assuage my guilt, however. I still ache for the girl, even though rationally I know I didn't do anything wrong, and we had practiced it. I went over the accident in my head probably a thousand times trying to figure out what I could have done differently, and the only thing I can think of is that I should have had someone in position behind her to shut the gate faster, and I should not have used the lead-rope with a knot in the end! The lead rope was a learning experience - I would not have figured it could get caught like it did. MJ and the vet convinced me to have my finger x-rayed, which I did, and it is broken - but I feel like that's absolutely nothing (although typing takes a lot longer now :) compared to what Beauty endured.

When I told Kristin about Beauty being allowed to show on Saturday, she was so upset and said she couldn't compete her; she was scared. I spoke with Cherie who agreed that Kristin and Beauty should both at least go to the show, even if they don't compete. Beauty needs to learn that the trailer really will not kill her, and that will take a long time to teach her after the accident.

So, we were getting all set to show, giving Beauty her meds twice a day and making sure she doesn't rub her stitches, when, Tonka... of all horses (Jordan is supposed to show him on Saturday)... decides to colic two nights ago! Jeff found him in the pasture, not wanting to get up for his dinner. He was not interested in food at all. He gave him Banamine and put him in his stall and I came out and walked and walked him in the rain and muck. Once the banamine had kicked in, he seemed fine (and hungry!) but I did not feed him. I wanted him to poop, so I left him in the stall and hoped he would poop. I checked on him and walked him about every hour throughout the night, and fell asleep around 6 AM. When I checked on him at 8 AM, there was still no manure in his stall, so I called the vet. She came and tubed him (after double sedation AND a twitch she finally got it into the buttheads nose!), gave him fluids and said to keep him in his stall til he poops. She said he had good gut sounds (but so did Willie at Thanksgiving), and lots of gas, so she was not too concerned. She expected he would pass manure by lunch time. I went to bed for about 90 minutes, got up and checked on him about noon, and still no manure. He did not look or act painful though, which I took as a good sign. Later in the day, I checked and he had passed a very small pile - not impressive enough to assume he was out of the woods. I gave him a very small bran mash for dinner, which he scarfed down eagerly and hoped by morning he passed a larger pile. This morning, no manure at all! I fed him a larger bran mash and felt sure he would pass a very soft stool by the afternoon, but no such luck. I phoned the vet again. It's never good when the vet has to come out a second time for the same colic. She said to let him eat some grass about 10 minutes several times, which he did. By this evening's dinner, still no poop, but he ate his bran mash, acted normal, and ate grass like it was the best thing he had ever had. I let him walk (or should I say trot?) the length of the barn for about 30 minutes before putting him back in his stall. He was terribly upset about being stalled again, but I figure if there is no manure by morning, the vet is coming back. My heart is heavy with worry, because while he is not acting sick or painful, he is not producing enough to be cleared of an impaction or twisted intestine. Ironically, I kept calling him "Willie" by accident - he does look remarkably like Willie - but when I realized my slip, I got an even bigger sinking feeling.

At any rate, while we wait through the night again for better results, I have been reflecting on the pains that come with owning horses. The financial burden is enormous and sometimes I feel it is too great for us. But that aside, there is the emotional pain that comes from watching these big, beautiful animals suffer. It hurts almost as much as watching a child who hurts. The intensity of worry is certainly no different than that of parenting. I hope by my next posting that I have wonderful news.

For anyone wondering about Takoda - he is fine, but is a filthy mess and has not been worked much due to heavy rains and too much mud. He is going to Kim's on Monday so she can get on him and see how he is under saddle. Normally I would be ecstatic, but I am scared to death of loading him onto the trailer. I will certainly post about that lesson after it happens!